Kid’s martial arts: Losing is good for you
Kid’s martial arts: participation
I often find articles on youth development and youth sports. I’ve come across one that is very interesting titled: Losing is good for you by Ashley Merryman. It’s a great piece on understanding how kids develop in environments that can be academic or sports related. You may remember her from a previous blog post I wrote Kid’s martial arts and gratitude.
In her Op Ed piece she speaks to the notion of trophies and who receives them. She states in the opening lines:
Whether your kid loves Little League or gymnastics, ask the program organizers this: “Which kids get awards?” If the answer is, “Everybody gets a trophy,” find another program.
Her stance, which makes sense to me, is that sending children the message they can get a trophy for participation is counterproductive to their development and dealing with stress and competition.
Kids matches in kid’s martial arts class
Kid’s martial arts and problem solving skills
Children are so much smarter than many of us give them credit for and it’s due to there adaptability in situations that can be stressful. To quote from the article again:
By age 4 or 5, children aren’t fooled by all the trophies. They are surprisingly accurate in identifying who excels and who struggles. Those who are outperformed know it and give up, while those who do well feel cheated when they aren’t recognized for their accomplishments. They, too, may give up.
It turns out that, once kids have some proficiency in a task, the excitement and uncertainty of real competition may become the activity’s very appeal.
If children know they will automatically get an award, what is the impetus for improvement? Why bother learning problem-solving skills, when there are never obstacles to begin with?
Teen coach watching over a drill in kid’s martial arts class
One of the reasons we enjoy the gym we go to is that nothing is handed out and that skill is rewarded appropriately. The children in the group understand what’s expected of them and what they need to do to get the next level. That’s not to say they are taskmasters and the children are under constant stress in their kid’s martial arts class but they know what is expected of them.
Kid’s martial arts: don’t spin a loss into a decorated victory
As the founder at SBGi Matt Thornton says often, one cannot fake jiu jitsu anymore than they can fake speaking Spanish or playing guitar. This makes it a great tool for the kids to be able to learn and adapt to in their kid’s martial arts class.
Drilling with a resisting partner in kid’s martial arts class
When children make mistakes, our job should not be to spin those losses into decorated victories. Instead, our job is to help kids overcome setbacks, to help them see that progress over time is more important than a particular win or loss, and to help them graciously congratulate the child who succeeded when they failed.