Kid’s Martial Arts and 6 words…
Kid’s martial arts and what we can do to encourage
I am often looking at parenting sites and reading up on different things to compliment posts on this kid’s martial arts blog. I came across another blog post that I found extremely interesting which led me to this article that is applicable to any parent if their child is in a kid’s martial arts class or playing on a basketball team: What Makes A Nightmare Sports Parent — And What Makes A Great One.
Kid’s martial arts class, June 2013 Student of the month
Kid’s martial arts and parents
As a parent I know how hard it is sometimes to sit on the sidelines and watch what’s happening with your child whether it’s soccer, a piano recital, or a kid’s martial arts class. It’s difficult because you want to help, as a parent you want to guide them and instruct. When I first read the article the part that struck me and drew me into the article was this little piece and the 6 words:
Their overwhelming response: “I love to watch you play.”
It’s so simple and yet I had to think if I had ever said this to my daughter. I know that I will from here forward. I have also coached in the past and I have helped kids learn and see things about the sport that I coached. Personally, it’s difficult to separate the coach from the parent sometimes. In the article there are 5 descriptors of the “nightmare parent” and the “ideal sports parent.” These apply to any parent whether the kids are playing lacrosse or in a kid’s martial arts class. The 5 point they make for the “ideal sports parent” are:
- Cheer everybody on the team, not just your child
- Model appropriate behavior
- Know what is suitable to discuss with the coach
- Know your role
- Be a good listener and a great encourager
Paying attention in kid’s martial arts class
Kid’s martial arts: the kids
The main thing I took away from the article is that there are roles for everyone and my role as a parent is to support my child in her kid’s martial arts class. I have to realize that the coaches coach and it’s up to my daughter to behave herself in her kid’s martial class i.e. pay attention and practice. She has to learn to respect her coaches and her fellow classmates and that is a process that only she can experience in her kid’s martial arts class and beyond. As a parent, hopefully an “ideal sports parent,” it’s my job to be supportive in that journey and let her have the experience.
And I love watching my daughter play…
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Kid’s Martial Arts and heart
Kid’s martial arts and heart
Working with kids in a kid’s martial arts class there is a certain level where children are always honest. They may not be entirely honest when they think what they say or tell you may get them into trouble but, generally speaking, children are honest about their feelings and what’s going on in their lives. We always hear that honesty is sometimes brutal, it can be hard to hear sometimes, but with children there is little malice when stating the truth about something-it’s very matter of fact, simple, and to the point. I think this happens because many kids have a limited vocabulary and understanding. I’m always reminded of Denzel Washington in the movie Philadelphia when he says “Explain it to me like I’m a 6 year old,” in his cross examinations.
Honesty is a key ingredient to having heart in kid’s martial arts classes. When I did a search to see what “having heart” means, how other people describe/define it, the prevailing definition of someone with heart is someone who perseveres. Someone is said to have “heart” when they accept a challenge, persevere and continue moving forward despite obstacles or hurdles. I most often associate “heart” with underdogs, people who go against staggering odds for what they believe in or what they have a passion to do in their lives. In the search the movie Rudy came up, but there are many other movies that have that same theme…most of them sports movies of one kind or another.
Coaching the kid’s martial arts class
Kid’s martial arts and honesty
Of course, for kid’s martial arts there are many movies out there and I have mentioned The Karate Kid more than once on this blog. For many kid’s martial arts classes having heart, encouraging working hard, and being a good person are all fundamental aspects of what the kids learn. When kid’s are honest with themselves and honest with their coaches that certainly leaves the door open for those kids to accept challenges with and open heart. Every class becomes a challenge, every class becomes a learning experience to learn more about themselves.
Having heart in a kid’s martial arts class
The great thing about kid’s martial arts class is that the kids all have heart. Watching them try, watching them learn is a joy. I see it in the faces of the kids in my daughters kid’s martial arts class. Kids want to be good at what they are doing and they want to do things really well. In the end having heart is about trying, it’s about learning to push the boundaries and being ready to learn from your experience on the mat regardless of whether you win or lose.
New grey belts in kid’s martial arts class
Kid’s martial arts and fear
Kid’s martial arts and fear
Everybody is afraid of something. We all have our idiosyncrasies and phobias-for some its spiders, heights, or closed spaces. In kid’s martial arts a common fear is that of losing or not performing well. Most fear comes from what is unknown and he outcome of matches or sparring is not known. I would venture to say that the butterflies that we get before tournaments or performances is that little bit of fear…and that’s healthy.
Coaching in kid’s martial arts class
Kid’s martial arts: what is fear?
Coaching in kid’s martial arts class
Kid’s martial arts and learning to move past fear…
Coaching in kid’s martial arts class
Kids Martial Arts and taking things for granted
Taking things for granted
There are many different aspects of taking something for granted-we take our health for granted many times or we take for granted that certain people will always be in our lives. It’s often a shock when such a change comes about-losing our health in some form, like a broken leg or a torn ligament; or losing a loved one to any circumstance whether it’s divorce or death.
I was late to playing the game of lacrosse and I picked up my stick in my last year of high school. I would practice a lot because I knew that skill wise I had to catch up to the other kids on the team. I didn’t have the advantage of having played since I was a child like others. I believed I could develop my skill and that I had the tools but I did not take for granted that it would come easy.
Kids martial arts class, a small group collaborates
Kids martial arts and what we think is always around…
I am very aware of that sensibility now that I have children and have been very conscious of that fact in searching for things that they will enjoy and reap benefits from in later years. It’s not a question of only wanting them to be accomplished but giving them tools to learn and grow with whether it’s in team sports, piano lessons, or kids martial arts classes. The important thing is building up momentum and getting them on the right track to grow and evolve.
There are so many things that we take for granted in our lives and one reason I chose to get my child involved in something like kids martial arts is because I was not able to take advantage of that as a child myself. It warms my heart that she is doing well and enjoying her kids martial arts classes. I see how beneficial this type of class is for her in learning respect and humility but also building self confidence.
Kids martial arts: learning, adapting, and assimilating
Kids martial arts class, getting pointers in individual drills from Coach Amanda
I notice how she behaves in her kids martial arts class, how the coaches give the kids duties in class, and encourage good behavior outside of class. I also notice that within in each class there are trials and tribulations that the kids go through-the learning process and the problem solving is apparent. Each child seems to have their own way of problem solving and the groups as a whole collaborate well. No child has time to take their skill for granted because there is always a new challenge on the horizon. The challenge can be part of the homework assignments the children get to learn life skills, a more experienced practitioner, a smaller partner, or a partner much larger.
When you are too busy learning, adapting, and assimilating new info it’s often too difficult to take things for granted. I like that the coaches help all the children and adjust to the children to provide a good learning experience for each child-and there are different ages, types, and skill levels in the class. The coaches use that diversity to their advantage and in the end it makes them better coaches.
We are very fortunate to have this type of learning…it’s nothing this parent will take for granted.
Kids martial arts class, action shot
When I was looking for a gym that teaches kids martial arts…
Finding a gym for kids martial arts classes.
I just read this great post from SBG black belt Cane Prevost about diversity in a gym called Evaluate a gym in 5 minutes or less. It’s a great post! In the piece he writes a little bit about the history of the gym here in Portland, but more importantly he succinctly shares and describes the marriage of coaching and curriculum.
Warm ups in kids martial arts class.
When I first started looking for a kids martial arts class I wasn’t sure what I would be looking for in a gym. I knew it would have to have certain standards that I think any gym would have in it’s best practices i.e. cleanliness, a standard curriculum, etc… I searched and checked out the gyms close to our home. At that time I didn’t have Cane’s blog post to read and apply but I understand the sensibility he writes about and was very fortunate to notice it when I visited SBG. In the post he writes about a few different models out there and, though it’s not exactly the same, I came across the archetypes he talks about in his piece often over the years. He brings up three distinct models: the
“tough test’ class, the “encouraging effort” class, and the class with tough tests and encouraging effort. Reading the piece it was nice to see someone articulate what I had been looking for in a gym.
Kids martial arts and diversity in the kids class
When we first started taking kids martial arts classes, she was only the 2nd or 3rd girl in her class and it was nice for her to be able to have someone to bond with in her kids martial arts. I have seen that the group has flourished and also grown in size since we started taking classes.This has been a boon to the the coaches in the kids martial arts class. The coaches can now work with small groups of kids to help with their skill levels appropriately. The group has also bonded together at social’s, Ninja Night’s, supported their coach Amanda at Pan Am’s, and other teammates in getting ready for tournaments.
Coach Amanda with a small group in her kids martial arts class
Kids martial arts class and fun
In the end, the diversity and chemistry of the group, coaches and kids, is a boon for everyone. The coaches can develop and refine their coaching skills and the kids can grow and learn at good paces with the right coaching. Kids in out kids martial arts class learn to help and support each other. The real fun is how the whole group welcomes new students and helps guide them on the mat, and that is always lots of fun!
Having fun in kids martial arts class
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Kids Martial Arts and Competition
Competition for kids in martial arts
Competition can be a touchy subject sometimes when talking about kids. Whether it’s something like little league or kids martial arts many parents have a different view on the role of competition and when their kids should engage in it. It’s unfortunate that there have been situations in many youth sports that have given “competition” a bad connotation to it.
Live drills while coach Amanda looks on in kids martial arts class.
I find it’s very important for kids to learn about competition in kids martial arts classes. They have to learn how to be a good winner. They also have to learn how to deal with losing. There are many reasons but I think the main one is for a child to learn how much work goes into preparing and going to a tournament. It’s goal oriented in the short term-there’s a tournament, you need to prepare and the tournament will happen at a specified date and time. Some kids will love the whole experience and yet others may not like the experience, whether or not they win.
There are many ways to compete and make competition a part of the curriculum in a kids martial arts class. Tournaments and encouraging them is one facet of competition. Another facet is having a curriculum in a kids martial arts class that encourages having an actively resisting partner in kids martial arts class. At SBG this concept is called Aliveness and it’s about having a resisting partner often during the process of learning. It’s another form of competition and it’s a self correcting mechanism for the child to learn what works and doesn’t work in a kids martial arts class. It enables the child to learn from when s/he wins, understanding what worked; but also from when they lose, understanding what didn’t work. The child can then refine their timing, energy, and motion to get better and keep learning in a positive kids martial arts environment.
Resiliency in kids martial arts
Here’s a great video about SBG to help give context to the concept of Aliveness:
In both situations-whether it’s a tournament or training in a kids martial arts class with Aliveness-the common thread I see is building resiliency. To compete in tournaments can be very scary and facing an unknown competitor, someone you are not familiar with, can be daunting. There is a lot of work that goes into kids martial arts classes, travelling and preparing It gets exhausting. When you are consistently training with partners in a kids martial arts class who are resisting and you are consistently learning and re-learning it’s a longer journey. It can be a journey that gets frustrating and hits plateaus or setbacks. All these are true when training over a long period of time and preparing for a tournament. Resiliency is the ability to keep moving, to keep learning. It’s the idea that obstacles are opportunities to learn and grow.
Kids martial arts and beyond
In speaking with founder of SBG Matt Thornton about the topic of kids martial arts and competition, he added: “All children will eventually have to learn how to compete in one form or another as adults. They will compete in school, compete for jobs, compete for promotions, life is in a sense one long competition. By teaching them how to compete, and think about competition in a healthy way when they are young, I think we give them a huge advantage.”
I had a talk with my daughter and she was having a rough day in her kids martial arts class. She wanted to have matches with kids that are less experienced than she is so that it would be easier for her. I said to her that she must be getting better because her coach wouldn’t be matching her with kids who are a challenge if there wasn’t something to learn. She’s still new to her kids martial arts class, only a handful of months, but she’s doing well and learning. In time I will see how she takes my advice. She may not yet be ready for tournament play but she’s on the right path for it…
Live matches in kids martial arts class.